Keeping Courage

“I urge you now to keep up your courage; not one of you will be lost, only the ship.” – Acts 27:22

Courage. That word keeps reappearing and coming top of mind. I’ve heard it at work, amongst friends, and it even appeared in a fortune cookie. When I traveled to Mozambique in the Fall, it felt like a courageous thing to do. “Have courage,” I thought before I left (and quickly realized I needed more courage while I was there). I sat in numerous doctor’s offices this year terrified. “Be courageous!” I would remind myself as I underwent more testing. “Don’t lose hope!”

Tonight, I reflect on the story of Paul in Acts. Paul is arrested and bound in chains. He is imprisoned for years, moving from one authority to another. Jews had plotted for his life, while Kings were scared to make a decision. Yet, he never stopped testifying to the Living Word, to the glory of Jesus Christ. Then, he went by boat to see Caesar as a prisoner. He watched men around him start panicking as the ship was being commanded by the storm, and all were afraid they would perish. They started acting in fear – throwing items overboard, not eating, and even trying to abandon the ship.

“Neither the sun nor the stars were visible for many days and no small storm raged. Finally, all hope of our surviving was taken away.” – Acts 27:20

But in this despair of being lost at sea, Paul – a prisoner – stands up and tells everyone to be courageous. That none of them will be lost. That an angel told him not to be afraid. So, he shares this with all 276 men on board:

“Therefore, keep up your courage, men; I trust God that it will turn out as I have been told.” – Acts 27:25

Paul trusted God. He trusted in His mighty, saving hand. He trusted that though all hope was lost and there was no light, God would persevere. God would keep true to His word. And so, he commanded courage from all those on the ship. In the face of the storm and hardship, they would stay the course. They would not give up nor starve themselves; they would keep their strength. Paul broke bread, gave thanks to God, and ate. This act encouraged all those around him and they followed the lead of a prisoner. And God kept true to His word – all were saved.

As I read this story, I admire Paul. In the face of a terrible storm, he didn’t lose trust or hope. He remained a disciple of Christ and was not overcome with fear. That is an area in which I need to grow. When life gets fearful, I shut down and act as the other men on the boat, making rash decisions to lighten the load. Lately, there has been great fear in my life. A new roommate, new medical diagnosis, heavy work schedule, passing of a friend, and the anniversary of another friend’s death hit me hard. First, I believed I was struggling with the vast amount of change but ultimately figured out the real reason: loss. Loss of my physical space. Loss of people and friendships. Loss of functionality of my body, of the ability to grow old peacefully. Loss of joy in my work as I simply try to keep up. Loss of boundaries. Loss of trust that God is steering me towards His purpose. Loss of energy. Loss of faith. I didn’t like who I was this week. I didn’t care for the overburdened, bitter, feisty version of myself; the one who felt less of herself with every passing day. But I am not lost. God knows the path forward. He has carried me all these years. I will find courage to forge ahead, to push through the storm when I cannot see and waters rage. I won’t lose hope. I won’t be afraid. I will believe.

Jesus, I pray for the courage and strength that Paul found on that boat and throughout his ministry. As he was attacked and stoned and held captive, he never lost faith. He never quit hoping in you. Some days, when the attacks are coming on all sides, I forget to talk to you. Instead, I bury myself deeper while the enemy presses on. Fill me with your peace on those days, knowing a simple prayer is a stronger weapon than anything I could physically do. Let my actions be courageous in the sake of your name so that others may bear witness to all you provide, including peace, hope, wisdom, and understanding. I lay down all the loss I have experienced this week and pray for joy to fight whatever battle tomorrow may bring. Amen.