The thief of joy: comparison

It would be easy to look at my life from the outside or my highlights on social media and say, “Wow, another trip. Her life looks so fun.” I’ve heard it from numerous people and while I have been blessed, so have you. The trip I get to take comes at the expense of not seeing the little girl I used to hold in my arms. The solo hike I did in Nevada was incredible, but there was no one there with me to share the view and excitement of making it to top. The trips to serve internationally brought joy but also stretched and changed me more than I could have imagined. Amidst these trips, I’ve suffered grief, depression, and anxiety. I’ve had to discern my purpose in life. I’ve faced countless medical trials and testing with no answers but a fatigued body, mind, and soul. My faith has been shaken, loved ones passed, and friendships changed. People I care about got sick, and my basement flooded. Life hasn’t been fun at all lately, but social media will tell you otherwise because I share the small moments of joy that allowed me to push through the journey. While the moments and views may look inspiring, what you don’t know is that I cried hiking up that mountain as I released grief. I broke down in that hotel hallway around the world as I processed trauma for the first time. I curled up in a ball in the hotel in Raleigh when my basement flooded and my dad was in the hospital and I couldn’t be present for either situation. I have cried harder these past two years than any other time in my life, but I’ve also explored the world more than any other time as well, for it has been my retreat. So, before you share shock and awe at my next trip or someone else’s picture-perfect life online, remember that our lives and experiences are not greater than your own. Count your blessings and thank God for the way he is currently stretching you.

God is now stretching me to travel to Mozambique in Southeast Africa to serve at SAM Ministries for the next two weeks, and I promise that this trip is no exception to the struggle. I am traveling around the world by myself to a land I do not know which is currently under great unrest. God has asked me to trust Him – to go anyway, to answer His call. It’s been an emotional month filled with anxiety, but this week I have peace. I am where He wants me. And you? You are where He wants you too. So, remove any comparisons to these photos, for you see me traveling across the world to live my dreams. Me? I see a girl, anxiously terrified, who refused to let the devil win. The photos are not for your comparison, but for mine. They’re for a year from now when the enemy tells me I’m not doing enough, to look back and see the strength of this girl who fought through every doubt to step on the plane and answer a call from God. I see the grit in those scared eyes. Of that I am proud, and of that I will need the reminder.

Take a few minutes to look through your posts online or how you think the world sees you from the outside. What do others see? What do you see? There are stories in those pictures. Don’t let the devil rob you of your blessings through comparison. You are on the journey of a lifetime too; you’ve just failed to recognize it.

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so you will fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he is deluding himself. Each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason to boast with regard to himself alone, and not with regard to someone else; for each will bear his own load.” – Galatians 6:2-5