Blessings in backpacks: witnessing a child’s first gift

Before going to Thailand, our team had the idea of bringing donations with us to further the impact of the trip and involve others outside of our team. Our Shook teammates, families and friends jumped at the idea, and we were able to collect enough supplies to fill ten, 50-pound bags to bring to GROW. We shuttled medical supplies, soccer balls, volleyballs, jewelry, backpacks, school supplies, Christmas decorations, and more through customs to gift the mission and the children. There was an extraordinary effort put forth by the team to gather and sort the supplies ahead of the trip, but no one once complained. In fact, many of them even gave up room in their personal bag to take more donations. They all believed in the cause.

After sorting the supplies on campus one evening in Thailand, we brought in Jeana and Faa to take a look at all we were gifting them for the first time. The disbelief on Faa’s face instantly made the hassle of lugging the heavy bags around the world worth it. She squealed like a little kid, hopping from table to table as she noticed different items.

When she had finally laid her eyes on the majority of the long table filled with extravagance, William pulled her aside. He had a special gift for her – an electric guitar and amp, as well as a kit to repair the strings of all her broken guitars. The joy on both Faa and William’s faces matched as they shared a moment together. What an incredible heart this young man has. He was a true gentleman all trip – helping me out of the truck, holding the door, and checking to make sure everyone was okay throughout the day. He was clearly raised right. Now, to donate this level of gift, it was inspiring to witness. His heart is big, and that heart added a lot to our trip.

The next day, Jeana, Sabrina and I snuck away from the construction site in the afternoon to pack backpacks full of gifts for each kid. Jeana was very deliberate about the list and what went in each backpack for each child – down to the color of the item. Sabrina and I would have moved faster alone, and probably would have preferred to speed up the process, but Jeana knew the kids the best. Each bag included a hat, sunglasses, water bottle, toothbrush and toothpaste, journal, and one special gift from a list they had sent us prior to the trip (e.g. necklaces, soccer balls, watches, toys). We also packed bags for each of the staff members – Faa, Kwan, Vee, and Lin.

The next evening, we had family time around the fire as we had gotten accustomed to each evening. As we went around the circle, every person shared why they were thankful. “I am thankful to God for PP playing with us this week,” almost every kid would say. I noticed that when it got to my teammates every one of them also started with, “I thank God for…” which surprised me, as I didn’t think everyone was faithful. I learned later they weren’t and just were following along everyone else, but I was proud of them for all for giving so much of themselves and being vulnerable. Not just in that moment, but throughout the trip. They dug deep with the kids and with each other and didn’t shy from sharing.

After about 20 minutes of thanks and dances, it was finally time to give the backpacks. Each of our team had grabbed three or four bags with us before we came to the fire, and the kids had been patiently waiting throughout this time while knowing we had something for them. Faa translated to the kids while I explained that 10 of us from Shook were present with them, but there were 350 other teammates back home who sent items with us since they couldn’t come. I then shared how we had a backpack with small gifts for each of them, and the squeals began. Squeals higher than I remember hearing – octaves higher. When we got them hushed enough that Faa could hear me, I told them that each of us would call out the name of a kid and they were to come meet that teammate to receive their gift, but no one was to open their backpacks until everyone had a gift so that they could all do it together.

The excitement of these 28 children and four staff members was on another level. The kids were so excited they could not sit still in their seats. When Randy called out the first kid’s name, the entire circle erupted in excitement and cheered for that child receiving their gift. Photos were taken with each child and our team member. The joy was beyond describable, and it didn’t stop there. It continued as every name was called out. These kids were equally excited for their friends and siblings as themselves; as their names were called, jumping, dancing and screaming ensued. It astounded me that the joy Kwan – the eldest staff member – showed and excitement over receiving a bag matched little Davika – the youngest child. The age didn’t matter; they were thrilled and so grateful.

Alas, we had made it through all the names and photos and it was time to open the gifts together. After counting to three, control was lost. Kids were screaming in every direction. Little Preeda was shrieking and jumping up and down. She hit octaves I didn’t know existed. It was the same throughout the circle. I sat next to Anong and watched the tears flood her eyes as she opened her watch and asked me to put it on. I witnessed Chandra be ecstatic about every item in her bag, especially the pink hat and sunglasses that matched her name. But mostly, I saw her demeanor change as she noticed the necklace with a star and a moon on it. As I put it around her neck, she clutched her hand to it like this $3 necklace was the most expensive piece of jewelry in the world. I suppose to her it was.

I watched Ari look flush and feign passing out as she realized she got a sketchbook and colored pencils. Tears were at corners of both her and Anong’s eyes as they celebrated each other’s gifts. However, the biggest surprise to me was Davika, the youngest of the kids at nine years old, who sat fairly still and clutched her backpack to her like she was scared to look inside. With the encouragement of Chandra, she slowly pulled items out, then gently placed them back inside and sat still, almost like she was afraid to look or believe they were hers.

The squeals never stopped that night. Faa gained control of the circle again and opened up the floor for the kids to share. Joy and excitement continued with a multitude of thanks. Then Faa asked a simple request: “If this is your first time receiving a gift, raise your hand.” Nearly every hand went up. This was most of these children’s first time ever receiving a gift. Some were nine, others 19. They were never given a gift of their own. It shattered my heart, but their joy refilled it instantly.

After many pictures, setting the time on numerous watches, and hearing all about receiving their favorite color backpack, it was decided the team needed to leave campus to allow the kids to calm down and go to bed. It was 9:30 p.m., much past bedtime, and they had exercise/devotions at 4:00 a.m. the next morning before school. As we piled in the truck, our hearts filled with so much joy, the kids followed. That night, as our truck pulled out the gates, we had kids running down the lane and screaming after us. I could still hear Preeda’s shrill screams after they disappeared in the night air.

How amazing it is to me that a backpack filled with small gifts could be received in such a way. Our teenagers would laugh, shrug it off, and say the gifts were cheap or lame. Yet, for these kids, it wasn’t about the gifts themselves (though they loved putting their glasses on and hats sideways like true teenagers). It was the fact that we cared for them enough to give them something all the way from back home, that we would travel across the world to play games with them and show them love. I can’t remember many moments in my life when my heart was fuller. These children were simply asking for love, for someone to recognize them for who they are, tucked away in this little campus ministry just outside of the mountains they used to call home. What I didn’t realize ahead of the trip was that I needed their love too. That I had been broken and felt just as lonely as they, like no one truly saw me. That I had lost hope.

Their squeals still pierce my ears and the hugs received that night were the first of the trip. Their little clammy hands and shaking bodies as they reached out to hug me won’t be forgotten. They let me into their world, and they stole mine. I hadn’t seen joy like that since the little girl I used to foster had gone home. She was my everything, and I didn’t think joy existed in that capacity outside of her. But here, I found the same level joy I was accustomed to seeing in my home, and a part of me felt complete for the first time in a year. Oh, how I wish she could have met these kids, they would have instantly made best friends. But I won’t dwell on that. Instead, I thank God for joy out of broken situations and for once again allowing me to witness it.