A Thanksgiving Miracle

On a day already meant for counting our blessings, I praise God a little more.

Nine years ago, on Thanksgiving Day, we took my mom to the hospital due to excruciating migraines and blurry vision and learned a few hours later that she had a brain tumor the size of the baseball. Despite the terrible odds she was given, my mom fully recovered and is as healthy as can be today.

That period of my life is a little blurry and since she is perfectly healthy now, some days I even forget it happened. However, each year, Thanksgiving serves as a beautiful reminder of all the blessings I have and how quickly they could be taken away. As such, I spend a good portion of time reflecting on the multitude of blessings I have, as well as walk through those hard days to remember the emotion and pain of thinking I may lose those blessings. It may seem a bit morbid, but it helps me truly appreciate the incredible things God has blessed me with and remember not to take them for granted.

On the one year anniversary of my mom’s surgery, I wrote this poem that captures the range of emotions of the hardest week of my life. When I read it, it takes me back to each scene of that week — lying on the bathroom floor crying, the hundreds of hours spent at the hospital, the exhaustion on my father’s face, the hollow smiles I shared to encourage my mom, the nausea of waiting during surgery, the breakdown in the chapel, the car rides with my siblings on the way to the hospital, the trembling when the nurses were running toward us, the wave of relief as my mom squeezed my hand, and the uncontrolled breakdown of our family embracing each other after that moment. The emotion of that week is engrained in my memory. I will never fail to thank God for healing my mom.

This piece of writing is incredibly personal, and I have refrained from sharing it with people because it is so emotional for me. A few years ago, I finally had the courage to share it with my mom. This year, I share it with you and challenge you to truly reflect this Thanksgiving.

Find a few minutes to sit in silence to reflect on all you have been blessed with. What are your constants? What has changed over the last year? What was a low blow this year, and why are you thankful for it? Write it down, go back yearly and look at the list you wrote, and then praise God for your blessings. He is a miracle worker — never doubt all He can do.

Miracle Mama (written in November 2015)

Here I sit weeping, broken and sore
Paralyzed on the bathroom floor
My hair is dripping, or it could be my eyes
I am not ready to tell you goodbye

The anger, the hatred, the grief, the pain,
When dad told me that it was your brain.
No, I thought, it couldn’t be
My mom is the strongest woman, you see.

She is tough and loving, and cares too much,
she’s one of a kind with a magical touch.
She can fix anything and mend all hearts,
she puts together all the broken parts.

Mom picks me up and pushes me ahead,
and prays for me every night before bed.
She plays matchmaker and jokester, teacher and friend,
And now she won’t make it through the weekend?

I can’t, I won’t, believe that’s her path,
Lord, don’t you know she’s my Dad’s other half?
Please keep her here on this earth, I plea,
for Abby, and Breanna, and Ben and me.

14 hours in surgery, our family all around,
I’m twitching and nervous, in tears I drown.
Dear doctors, I pray, please have a steady hand,
That’s my favorite woman in the whole damn land.

I can’t live without her, oh Lord, can’t you see,
My mom has helped make me ME.

An angel swoops in and interrupts my hell,
For my mom is alive, and healthy and well.
The nurses are running and crying with glee,
My mom is a miracle, she didn’t leave me.