Every child deserves love

It is National Foster Care Awareness Month. I don’t usually share much about my journey to become a foster parent. Why?

• Because the child I have the privilege to take care of every other weekend is not in foster care, even though it runs through my license.
• Because this child’s journey and my relationship with her and her mom isn’t everyone’s business.
• Because there is a stigma about foster care that people immediately associate her with.
• Because I don’t feel worthy of the praise I get – this little girl has impacted me so much, she has given as much to me as I to her.
• Because we are now family, no other precepts are needed.
• And because my journey was strongly rooted in my faith and unfortunately not everyone wants to hear that. They’re all for my cause until they hear that’s my why.

So why I am I sharing now? For that exact reason. My journey to become a foster parent was largely because of my faith, and in light of all the posts from my friends the past few days about the overturning of Roe v Wade, I feel compelled to share my story.

I have seen post after post saying that abortions should be legal because it’s about more than killing the baby — it’s about the dignity of all humans and caring for people of all levels. The words that show up on almost every post? Foster care, noting that people don’t offer support to the kids that need it, and suggesting we neglect those that need our help already and couldn’t handle more.

I sit in a very unique situation here. My entire foster journey was from my faith, rooted in pro-life values. I strive to fill the gap and do exactly what people are saying no one cares about — care for the children and help the families that need our support. If no one that is pro-life cares about this, then why did half of the people in my fostering training classes state their “why” for becoming a foster parent was because they were pro-life and were seeking to truly live that cause? Not only has my heart broken when I read these posts supporting abortion, they also feel insulting and incredibly inaccurate. That has not at all been my experience and is certainly not a justification for killing an innocent child.

But I must admit, there is a bit of truth in the posts. Simply stated, we need more people to step up as foster parents, to mentor moms and walk with them in their journey. If this is the main argument and opposition to abortion, than why haven’t more pro-life people stepped up? Don’t give them this argument anymore.

But to those that support abortion, I’m curious if you have also stepped up to help? Being pro-choice doesn’t negate you from the duty to help.

To be honest, I don’t care your background, political views or current situation; I beg you to find a way to help our families in need. To give up a little more of your comfortable space and free time for a greater cause.

I will advocate that every single person should be helping the families in our community and walking with them, supporting them, enduring the trauma with them and opening up our worldview more. We need more foster parents, our pregnancy centers need our support, and we need more people to support foster parents and the families by babysitting, making meals, helping with pick up and drop offs, etc. I challenge you to step up. Find time to help. WE MUST. Our world and our babies need it.

But let me be clear, the fact that we need more foster parents DOES NOT give admittance for abortion. We cannot allow the death of an innocent child, no matter the cause. We cannot kill children over the potential to end up in foster care, or the potential to have a defect, or because it was the consequence of a choice we now regret. I value human life at all ages and levels, from moment of first conception through final breaths. I strive to live my life in this manner every day. I challenge you to live yours similarly.

Lastly, this is not a post to boast about what I’m doing as a foster parent. To be honest, I prefer to keep that private. Some days it feels so heavy and some days it feels like not enough. I’m not here to say I always wanted to be a foster parent or that I always felt this way. I didn’t. At all. Even when the Lord revealed it to me through much prayer, it took me two full years to become licensed. I will attribute six months of that to COVID, but it was mostly fear and hesitation that my life would completely change, that it would be too much, that I would lose myself. Well, it was all of those things but I am a better person for it. Some days it is too much, but then the joy this child shares completely breathes life into me. I see her mom make a huge step forward and it warms my heart. The only way I have lost myself is becoming less of me and my selfish ways and a bit more like Jesus, something I pray for daily.

So first, I beg you to begin your journey of helping a child and family in need, no matter the level of commitment. Second, I hope to dispel any notion that all pro-life people don’t help, because I can promise you firsthand that has not been my experience with foster care. Third, I am happy to answer any questions you may have about how to help or the different options available for becoming a foster parent or respite provider.

I’ll leave you with the verse that affirmed my decision and changed my life.

“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God and the Father is this: to care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and to keep oneself unstained by the world” – James 1:27